Reason Why Gen Zer Refuses To Be Sister’s Bridesmaid Cheered: ‘Selfish’

A woman has taken to social media to reveal the circumstances that led to her backing out of being one of her sister’s bridesmaids.

In a post shared to Reddit under the handle u/Smart-Gas3600, a 24-year-old woman revealed she had been “excited” when her older sister asked her to be one of her bridesmaids. That changed when she found out who the rest of the bridal party were.

Jen Glantz is a professional bridesmaid. She works 30 to 50 weddings a year, with the cost of her services starting at around $2,500 per wedding and going up from there based on other aspects of the role required.

She knows a thing or two about what it takes to be a good bridesmaid.

Glantz told Newsweek: “If you are a bridesmaid, you really have to make sure that you’re putting some of your needs second. I often see bridesmaids crying and screaming because they don’t like the way that they look on the wedding day.”

She said: “As a bridesmaid, try to be as easygoing as possible and try not to give in to drama during the wedding process.”

Everyone has their limits though and Glantz believes “having boundaries” is key.

“Before you say yes to a wedding, ask the bride what is required of you specifically,” she said. “Being very clear about expectations before you accept the role is key, that way you won’t end up resenting the bride.”

Given Glantz’s stance, it’s perhaps understandable that the woman posting to Reddit as u/Smart-Gas3600 would say no to her sister after learning who she had recruited to be bridesmaids.

“Every single one of them is someone she’s either not that close to, or has made fun of before for being ‘awkward’ or ‘not photogenic,'” the Redditor explained. “Some of her actual best friends — the ones who she sees all the time — weren’t even asked.”

When the woman asked her sister about why she had chosen such an unusual group of women to be bridesmaids, her sibling told her: “You’ll understand when it’s your wedding. You don’t want people who’ll outshine you in your own pictures.”

When the woman asked her: “So you picked them because you think they’ll make you look better?” Her sister rolled her eyes, telling her: “It’s not that deep. I just want to feel confident that day, and I’m allowed to be a little selfish for my wedding.”

That response left the sister enraged.

“I told her I didn’t want to be part of a bridal party built on tearing other people down,” she wrote. “She should’ve picked people she actually cares about.”

Now the bride-to-be is calling her sister “judgemental and sensitive” while her mom accused her of being “too idealistic” and urged her to support her on her big day. The internet, however, disagreed.

One user commenting on the post on Reddit said: “Why would you want to feel self-conscious and ugly all day just to make your shallow, selfish sister feel better.”

Another agreed, writing: “I wanted my bridesmaids to look beautiful and confident. I felt beautiful being surrounded by beautiful people that loved me. It did not ever occur to me to surround myself with ugliness to match my insides.”

A third added: “It’s not being judgmental to have some basic decency. She’s literally picking people based on looks, that’s way more shallow. Just ’cause it’s family doesn’t mean you have to go along with something that feels messed up.”

Newsweek reached out to u/Smart-Gas3600 but is unable to verify the details of her story.