Single Men Do This When Dating–and It’s Not Working Out

When it comes to dating, men aim high—but the dating game has other plans.

This is the conclusion of an international team of researchers who analyzed heterosexual users on a Czech online dating app.

The findings suggest that while men tend to “aim high” in their pursuit of partners, matches are more likely to occur among individuals with more similar levels of perceived desirability.

In their study, published in the journal PLOS One, the team propose that this pattern of mutual interest and desirability is largely a result of rejection rather than an initial preference for similarity.

The Dynamics of Online Desirability

The study delved into data from July 2017, involving over 2,000 heterosexual users in Prague and 624 in Brno. The researchers used social network analysis to map “swipes”—or expressions of interest—between users, allowing them to establish a hierarchy of desirability based on how many swipes each user received.

Their analysis, according to the study’s abstract, found that “the structure of the networks is considerably hierarchical.”

A key finding was that women generally ranked higher in this hierarchy—largely because the app had many more male users than female users.

Because of the uneven gender ratio on the app, and gendered dating norms, men were typically “pursuers”, sending more messages than receiving, and women were typically “choosers”, receiving more messages than sending.

Men Aim High, Women Match More Similarly

The research also revealed a distinct difference in pursuit strategies between genders.

The researchers found that “men tended to express interest in women who were more desirable than themselves, while women typically pursued men of more similar desirability.”

Furthermore, the study’s discussion even observed that women “chose slightly less desirable partners on average,” though it cautioned that “women’s willingness to partner down should be taken with a grain of salt due to the low variability in men’s desirability.” This contrasts with some prior research that suggested aspirational pursuit for both genders.

However, the picture changed significantly when the researchers looked at successful matches—instances of “mutual swipes,” indicating reciprocal interest. These mutual swipes mostly occurred between men and women of more similar desirability.

Rejection Drives Similarity in Matches

This pattern suggests a fascinating dynamic at play in the online dating world.

The authors explained this key takeaway: “Successful matches tend to happen between people with similar levels of desirability,” they said.

“This pattern is largely the result of rejection, rather than an initial preference for similarity. The successful matching outcomes tend to align more closely with women’s preferences than with men’s.

“This likely reflects women’s stronger position in the online dating market, as men outnumber women and are often expected to make the first move.”

The authors acknowledged limitations of the study, like focusing only on heterosexual users and one type of dating app—future research could expand to include queer users and other platforms to refine these understandings of dating dynamics.

But, still, the study offers valuable evidence for understanding the earliest stages of dating in the digital age—suggesting that reality ultimately brings aspirations back to a more balanced playing field.

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Reference

Topinkova, R., & Diviak, T. (2025). It takes two to tango: A directed two-mode network approach to desirability on a mobile dating app. PLOS ONE, 20(7). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0327477