When Brooklyn comedian Ashley Bez walked into a wedding over the weekend, she immediately realized she had made a mistake.
“I realized it was black tie 0.0001 seconds after I arrived,” Bez, 41, told Newsweek. “The elevator doors opened, and I had a panic attack. I froze as I stared at a room full of people in suits or floor-length black dresses.”
In a now-viral TikTok video, Bez said that she had shown up in a pastel swirled minidress and white Doc Marten boots—completely unaware that guests were expected to wear floor-length black gowns.
“I’m literally hiding out in the staff hallway right now because I’ve been having kind of a panic attack all night,” she said in a clip on Instagram that now has more than 700,000 views. “Every single person in this wedding is in a long black dress. I look like a kindergartener on her first day of school.”
Bez said she had relied on her boyfriend’s casual interpretation of “dress nice” for the wedding attire. “He thought black tie was the one time men had to wear something specific and women could wear whatever they wanted,” she added.
Despite feeling out of place, Bez decided to stay at the wedding—though mostly in the corner. “I was not about to mess up the wedding photos,” she said. “No one said anything, but some women looked at me like I was a fairy leper.”
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During the reception, Bez found an exit sign leading to a back staircase, where she filmed the video that has now sparked debate and discussion.
“I wanted to document how I was feeling, and see if anyone else could relate,” Bez said. “Based on the comments, I learned that uptight women all across America were united in their hatred of my sartorial decision.”
The clip resonated with thousands online, but opinions were mixed. While some people could relate, telling tales of their own dress-code mishaps, others joked that her boyfriend “dropped the ball” when he delivered the dress-code information.
Some viewers though were less than forgiving. One commenter said: “The entire outfit is bad for any occasion.”
Another wrote: “Unless it was Coachella themed that would never be appropriate.”
“Many people found my boots unforgivable, but I have a torn calf muscle. I couldn’t wear heels,” Bez said. “I only own like five shoes total. And yes, that’s two and a half pairs.”
She added that she forgot to check the couple’s website because she has been feeling the pressures of everyday life.
“Inflation is brutal, health care costs are going up, and every empathetic American is full of dread because ICE is kidnapping people in broad daylight,” she said. “The weight of all these things makes me forget to do stuff all the time—like check a wedding dress code. But, trust me, I really wish I had.”
Despite the mishap, Bez said she hopes the viral moment helps others feel less alone in their social anxieties. “I was just trying to be honest about a small moment that felt huge,” she added. “I think a lot of people know what that panic feels like.”
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