The first time I remember meeting Elmira Mezei was at her 50th birthday party. Her husband, my good friend, had invited me. I may have met her before, but that’s the date that sticks in my head. She was wearing the most fantastic pair of shoes and looked chicer than chic. She was so happy.
So very, very happy.
There was something about her that was captivating.
I met her a handful of times over the years. She was a year older than me. The loves of our respective lives were the same number of years older than us. It was all very satisfying, numerically.
But I didn’t know her. Not really.
When cancer first came calling, I was shocked. She was one of the healthiest people I knew. She was the Paleo queen. Didn’t smoke. Rarely drank. Ate healthily. Exercised. Had huge faith. It didn’t seem right.
But I was sure she’d get through it. She was that kind of woman.
A prolific author, her body of work is all in Hungarian. Except for her latest, and last book. That’s been translated into English. A Pathway to Healing: A Soul’s Purpose Fulfilled published in June 2024 and I’m only now getting around to reading it.
I bought it when it came out and it’s been sitting on my Kindle since.
I decided some months back to read the 300+ unread books on my device as they pop up. Alphabetically. No skipping. I have to read what’s next up – I don’t have to finish it, but I have to start it.
This month, it was Elmira’s turn.
I didn’t want to read it. Not really. I thought I knew what it was about.
Cancer. Hospital stays. Healing. New cancer. More hospital stays. Healing.
Elmira lost the good fight 10 days before my father died. Her husband and I were on parallel grief tracks. He helped me immensely. I’d like to think I helped him, too.
In hindsight, I wish I’d read it long before now.
It’s not about getting sick and dying; it’s a blueprint for living.
As I read, I could hear her lovely voice talking to me:
It is crucial to understand that the combination of exhaustion, frustration, and demoralisation can be extremely perilous. One small trigger is all it takes to plunge into the dark abyss. It is essential to pay attention to the signals from your body, soul, feelings, and internal conflicts.
I’m familiar with that dark abyss. I’ve been there and I’m in no hurry to go back. I’m okay at paying attention to my body – but soul, feelings, and internal conflicts, those will need more work.
You think you’ve got so much time to do what you have to do. You have time. And then you don’t because you may have much less time than you had thought. How nice it would be if we understood this truth early on, without trauma, and acted on who we really are.
Yes. If we could understand this truth, without trauma. I’ve a weird thing going on in my head – a fixation that I’ll live till I’m 87. A fortune teller told me that once. At the time, it seemed like two lifetimes but as it draws ever nearer, it doesn’t seem that long at all. What I didn’t really get until now, though, is that it’s not only about me having time in this world, but also about me having time with people who may not have much time. I might not know this; they might not know this.
Reading about Elmira’s experience with the Simonton Method for ‘strengthening the self-healing process’ was both useful and enlightening.
Getting a tiny glimpse into the Subud world was fascinating. I need to spend more time reading about and asking about the Latihan Kedjiwan (spiritual exercise). Â The idea of a multifaith/faithless spiritual practice is intriguing.
Elmira had huge faith, one that she worked at.
I’m constantly working on growing a small faith into big faith, into giant faith, to finally become total complete faith. Small faith is a lack of courage. To have absolute faith, to surrender 100 percent, to entrust yourself to God, is great courage and an incredible joy, relief, and freedom. Freedom from the prison of yourself. To experience firsthand what it is like to vibrate with the universe with every breath you take. To pick up the pace, to flow, to know exactly where you are going, what your intention is, and to move steadily towards your goal, to connect the dots. In this flowing and loving, open and grateful state, all obstacles fall away, the whole universe works for you and there is not a single doubt in your mind. You are in complete possession of your own power.
Her husband used to tell me that despite everything Elmira was going through, she was the happiest he’d ever seen her. I had a hard time believing him then. Now though, having paged through Elmira’s experiences, I understand.
Elmira was born into a Jewish family. She touches briefly on what it was like being the daughter of parents who had lost many of their family in the Holocaust.
The horror itself, the bone-shaking shock. Anyone who has experienced it, or is in any way connected to it, easily loses the sense of their own boundaries, is not safe in their own body, there is no solid ground under their feet. From this point on, anything can happen at any time.
If the non-Jewish world got this, if we really got this, the world would be a better place. As it would, too, if we embraced her thoughts on nature.
Our community is also in the process of collapsing but it is invisible to us for the time being because we, the inhabitants of the big cities, are so many, and because in the achievements of civilisation we have forgotten that our existence depends on nature and can only be maintained in harmony with it.
A Pathway to Healing: A Soul’s Purpose Fulfilled is a book that keeps on giving. I’ve gone back to it a few times when I remembered something I’d read that was only now resonating. If you can wait for the post to arrive, the English version is available as a paperback. But if you’re into instant gratification, you can get the eBook right now for the price of a cup of coffee. And, unlike the cup of coffee, its effects are lasting.
Mary Murphy is a freelance writer, copyeditor, blogger, and communications trainer. Read more at www.unpackingmybottomdrawer.com | www.anyexcusetotravel.com | www.dyingtogetin.com
