Bride Expecting ‘Best Friend’ She Overlooked as Bridesmaid To Help Slammed

A bride’s decision to exclude her longtime best friend from her bridal party while still expecting her to help with all the wedding preparations has been slammed by viewers on Reddit.

The bride’s friend had taken to the platform on March 17, under u/alternative_scar5530, to detail her frustration at the upsetting turn of events. The 24-year-old’s post has since drawn over 12,000 upvotes, sparking debate among viewers online with many criticizing the bride’s actions.

The woman told Reddit users that she was left out of her “best friend’s” wedding party despite years of mutual promises to stand beside each other on their big days.

“She recently asked me to help with the wedding planning, but when she showed me the list for her bridal party, I wasn’t on the list,” the woman said. “I asked why, and she got awkward and said she had to make some choices.

“The party included her sister, her fiancés sister, and a few newer friends she’s known for a couple of years.”

Despite missing out on being a bridesmaid, the woman was still tasked with helping the bride do a number of tasks ahead of her big day. These included dress shopping, venue hunting, and the preparing of DIY decorations.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Claudia Giolitti-Wright told Newsweek that the conflict highlights an “emotional mismatch” in the pair’s friendship.

“This situation is complex because it taps into unspoken expectations, shifting friendships, and emotional labor, all of which can feel deeply personal,” Giolitti-Wright, who runs the New York-based practice Psychotherapy for Young Women, told Newsweek.

She explained that long-term friendships often come with an unwritten “relational contract,” meaning that when two people make mutual promises—like being in each other’s weddings—there is an inherent expectation that those commitments will be honored.

“When that does not happen, it is not just about the wedding—it is about feeling unchosen in a moment that was supposed to symbolize closeness,” the therapist said.

The real issue, according to Giolitti-Wright, is not necessarily that the woman was rejected as a bridesmaid, but that she was still expected to take on a major support role, without the formal acknowledgment of being part of the bridal party.

“The bride’s decision not to include her best friend as a bridesmaid, while asking for a high level of involvement, creates an emotional mismatch,” she said. “It sends the message: You are close enough to do the work, but not close enough to be formally recognized.

“That can feel like rejection, even if it was not intended that way.”

The woman had told viewers online that she set a boundary with the bride, explaining to her that it felt “weird” to do bridesmaid-level work without the title. Sadly, tensions escalated.

“She got angry and said that she thought I’d still want to be involved because we’re best friends,” the woman said. “I told her I’d still be at the wedding, but I wasn’t gonna do all of this extra work when she didn’t even consider me close enough to be at her bridal party.”

After stepping back, she found herself facing backlash from mutual friends, who accused her of making the wedding all “about her.”

‘She Wants Free Labor From You’

The situation has prompted a heated discussion among viewers about the expectations surrounding weddings. Several Reddit users supported the woman’s stance, arguing that if she was not important enough to be a bridesmaid, she should not be expected to take on the work of one.

“She wants free labor from you,” one viewer said. “She’s trying to enlist your help because her bridesmaids probably have either already said no (even though that’s their job) or because she doesn’t want to burden them with the menial tasks she wants to dump on you.

“Then she got angry when you stood up for yourself…Good on you for not letting her use you.”

“Yeah, she’s definitely trying to use OP,” another commented. “Doesn’t sound like much of a best friend.”

“Bride wants to use bridesmaid honors as bait to cement more advantageous or recent friendships. Often it seems to come down to social climbing, pure and simple,” another added.

Giolitti-Wright also defended the woman’s decision to speak up. The therapist said that setting boundaries is about “self-respect,” and not about trying to become the center of attention.

“The bride may not have realized that she was crossing a line, but that does not mean her best friend has to accept an unfair dynamic just to keep the peace,” she said.

For friendships tested by major life events like weddings, navigating the fallout is crucial. Giolitti-Wright suggests that, if emotions settle, a follow-up conversation could help repair the friendship.

She emphasized that such conflicts often highlight evolving dynamics in friendships.

“Accept that friendships change,” she said. “Sometimes, these moments reveal shifting dynamics.

“If the friendship is strong, it will survive, if not, this could be a wake-up call that the balance has already shifted.”

Newsweek reached out to u/alternative_scar5530 for more information via Reddit.

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