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Bride Planning Child-Free Wedding Not Prepared for Text She Receives From Groomsman’s Wife


When a bride-to-be decided on a child-free wedding, she didn’t anticipate the challenge that would arise from one of her fiancé’s closest friends.

The couple had made their decision clear: no children at the ceremony or reception. But a surprising text from a groomsman’s wife, who was pregnant and had a toddler, instantly complicated those plans.

In a post on Reddit this week, the bride shared her dilemma after communicating her no-kids policy to all guests.

Blunt Text

Despite two prior conversations with the groomsman’s wife confirming the rule, the bride was shocked when she received an RSVP for the entire family, followed by a blunt text stating:

“It says no kiddos, which I wasn’t planning on bringing (toddler) anyways, but my 4-month-old who will be surviving only off my titties unfortunately has to be making an appearance.”

Stock image: Woman looks at phone.

fizkes/Getty Images

The bride, frustrated by what she described as a dismissive attitude and past indirect insults from the woman, was unsure how to respond. She acknowledged that breastfeeding posed a challenge, but stayed firm in her desire for a child-free event.

Her main concern was that allowing one baby might upset other guests who respected the no-children request.

‘She TOLD me’

In her post, she weighed the possibility of offering a compromise, suggesting that the groomsman’s wife bring someone to watch the baby in a camper on-site during the wedding.

However, the bride admitted feeling uncomfortable with the entitlement in the woman’s message, noting, “I’m also extremely bothered by the fact that she TOLD me, instead of asking me.”

The Reddit community provided no shortage of advice amid more than 500 comments.

One user suggested, “If there’s no other guest that would be in the same situation with a young breastfeeding baby, I would say just tell her stay out for the ceremony and join for the reception.”

Another added, “Yeah, the moment she started pressuring for the toddler to come was the moment she lost all support. ‘So sorry you won’t be able to come, but we totally understand that your baby needs you.

“‘We’ll send a piece of cake back with your husband. Love, us’.”

According to a Newsweek article, child-free weddings have sparked heated debates online, with couples facing criticism from family and friends who feel excluded or inconvenienced.

Some guests view child-free policies as inconsiderate, while others see them as a practical choice to maintain a certain atmosphere.

Another Newsweek guide recommends couples be upfront and consistent about their preferences, explaining that clear communication can help minimize conflicts.

It advises offering resources for parents, such as suggestions for nearby babysitters or accommodating breastfeeding mothers with private spaces if necessary.

The original poster (OP) updated Redditors to say that she had considered everyone’s comments when writing her response to the groomsman’s wife.

‘Knowing her as a person’

“It’s important to both of us that you are there, but I also understand that babe will be so small still and I will not be offended if you choose to love on baby instead of attending, however you would be dearly missed,” the bride replied in part.

The groomsman’s wife responded with: “Hey, no worries. I understand and respect your decision. I just will not attend the wedding.”

The OP told Redditors the response was, “Not nearly as exciting as I had anticipated. She said the right thing, yes, but knowing her as a person. She is angry.”

Newsweek has contacted sparkiefly for comment via Reddit.

Newsweek‘s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.

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