Internet Backs Why Woman Stormed Out of Family Celebration—With the Cake

A woman’s decision to take home a cake she brought to a family dinner to celebrate one year of sobriety has gained support online.

In a Reddit post, the woman, a 27-year-old who had worked hard to stay sober after a challenging past, shared her experience gathering her family to celebrate the achievement—only to have her moment overshadowed. Since the post was published, it has received over 9,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments.

“I took the moment to share that I’d reached one year sober and how good I felt about it. They went with ‘Oh, that’s what you were talking about’ and ‘Has it been a year already?'” the original poster (OP) wrote. “I am embarrassed to admit I hoped someone would say they’re proud of me.”

It was then that her sister and brother-in-law interrupted the moment to praise their child for a gymnastics accomplishment.

Adding insult to injury, her mother dismissed the achievement, which left the OP feeling unsupported.

“Mom said my generation always wanted praise for doing the bare minimum, that wasn’t an accomplishment, it was just what I needed to do, like graduating high school,” she wrote.

Feeling hurt, she decided to take home the Berry Chantilly cake, something she had brought specifically to celebrate her success. When her sister later questioned why she had taken the cake, the OP stood firm, explaining it was her personal reward. This act led to further tension with her family.

Viewers in the comments offered the OP the support she didn’t get from her family.

“I come from many generations of alcoholics and this is HUGE!!!!” one person wrote. “I’m sorry they are not proud of you, but I am, and I hope you can rejoice in your accomplishment.”

“Putting up with that kind of treatment your whole life would drive anyone to drink. OP, I’m very proud of you,” another wrote. “One year is a HUGE accomplishment and should be celebrated.”

An expert weighs in

Newsweek spoke to marriage and family therapist Dr. Becky Whetstone, author of I (Think) I Want Out: What To Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage, about the OP’s feelings—which she said were valid.

“In an ideal world, our families would adore, love, celebrate and support us mentally and emotionally our entire lives, but as a family therapist I can tell you that almost none of us get that,” she said.

She pointed out that while it’s important to seek approval from loved ones, ultimately, it’s up to the individual to set boundaries and take ownership of their own happiness.

“Family acceptance and approval can be the first pieces of scaffolding that lead to a person having solid self-esteem, but a lot of what we end up with will eventually come from having achieved things on our own,” she said. “We don’t need anyone to recover or build our self-esteem, and we should never allow these sorts of things to depend on what others are thinking or doing.”

For the OP, Dr. Whetstone advised rooting in her power and celebrating her achievements.

“I’d tell the original poster that we’re all the captains of our own ship when it comes to having and managing peace of mind,” she said. “We can set whatever boundaries we want and need to with whomever to achieve that.”

Newsweek reached out to u/deffonotarichbitch for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.