Shock at What Stepmom Asked Teen To Do on Day of Dad’s Funeral

A grieving teenager has received widespread support online after sharing that she refused to babysit her stepbrother during her father’s funeral.

The 18-year-old Reddit user, u/RileyZane2007, posted her story on the subreddit Am I The A****** (AITAH), where it quickly went viral, amassing over 11,000 upvotes. In the post, she opened up about the devastating loss of her father, whom she described as her “best friend and safe place.”

The poster said that her parents divorced when she was 10, and her relationship with her mother has remained strained ever since. When her father remarried when she was 13, his new wife, Stacy, brought a young son—then 4, now 9—into the family. The original poster never bonded with her stepfamily and often felt like “a guest” in her own home.

“Fast forward to the funeral. I was wrecked. I’d spent the night before writing a eulogy and crying my eyes out. I was trying to hold it together in black heels and waterproof mascara. Then Stacy pulls me aside literally 15 minutes before the service starts and says: ‘Hey, could you just keep an eye on Adam? He’s having a hard time and I want to be able to focus on greeting people,'” the poster wrote.

At first, the grieving teen assumed her stepmother was joking—but Stacy was serious. The poster declined the request, only to be met with growing insistence.

“You know, you’re not the only one who lost someone. I snapped. I said, ‘You lost a husband of five years. I lost the man who raised me my entire life. You do the math.’
She gasped like I slapped her and stormed off,” the poster said.

According to the post, Stacy later told the teen’s mother and other family members what had happened. The backlash was swift: half the family reportedly labeled her “selfish” and “immature.” One aunt even claimed her 9-year-old stepbrother, Adam, was “traumatized” after overhearing the exchange.

“I feel bad for the kid, I do. But I was grieving too. I didn’t think it was my job to parent her child when I was barely keeping it together myself. So … AITA?” she asked.

Expert Insight

Dr. Mosun, a consultant psychiatrist at Cassiobury Court in the United Kingdom, told Newsweek:”Grief tends to touch everything around it, and it can amplify existing family dynamics, especially in blended families where histories are complex and boundaries may already be blurred,” Mosun said.

“It’s not uncommon for older children to be expected, either explicitly or implicitly, to shoulder emotional labor at funerals, almost becoming the emotional glue for others,” she added. “But this can, of course, be a heavy ask, particularly when they’re also grieving themselves or trying to make sense of complicated relationships with steprelatives. Stepsiblings aren’t obligated to play caretaking roles. Grief is not a performance and emotional availability isn’t uniform.

“It is absolutely valid to say no to roles that compromise your emotional well-being. Grief is deeply personal and preserving your own mental health must take precedence, even if it risks short-term family tension. Clear, compassionate boundaries aren’t selfish,” Mosun said.

Reddit Reacts

The comment section was overwhelmingly supportive of the poster’s stance.

“You’re not the a******. There was aunts and uncles. When we were kids we pretty much grouped up with cousins at funerals. It would be different if she asked you to watch him while she went to the bathroom or something—maybe even a group deciding to take shifts,” said one user.

“Why would a 9 yr old, in a crowd of relatives, need a babysitter? And why couldn’t one of his grandparents watch him? Was he going to play with matches or run into traffic?” posted another.

“Yeah I think she was trying to push you out of proceedings too. She wanted to be the center of attention. She wanted to make it all about her,” wrote a third commenter.

“Yes. She was centering herself as the primary bereaved and trying to relegate OP [the original poster] to a secondary, less affected position,” added a fourth.

Newsweek reached out to u/RileyZane2007 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.

Newsweek‘s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on “WSID” at Newsweek.