Why 30 Guests—Including Family—Backed Out of Wedding Last Minute Cheered

A new mom has been applauded for being part of a mass exodus of guests opting not to attend her cousin’s wedding over a strict “no children” policy.

It is one of the biggest talking points when it comes to weddings: should kids be allowed to attend? The question continues to divide the public. A YouGov poll of 1,295 U.S. adults found that, while 41 per cent of respondents disapproved of the idea of asking guests not to bring children to their wedding, 37 percent were in favor of the idea.

It certainly proved to be a divisive issue for one woman attending her cousin’s last-minute wedding later this month at a vineyard in California.

Writing in a post shared to Reddit under the handle u/Fun-Imagination4145, she said: “No one in the family is in California so to go I need to get a hotel. Me, my mom, and brother found an AirBNB that was relatively close.”

The woman is currently living abroad because of her husband’s work and had been due to fly back for the wedding on her own with the baby as her partner is working. “The invite came out only three weeks ago and we had to scramble to find a place,” she said.

However, those plans have bitten the dust after her cousin, the groom, let her know that “no children under 12 are allowed.” It created quite a problem.

“I have a four month old baby who only breastfeeds and won’t take a bottle,” the woman said. “I told them that logistically I can’t come. They suggested that me and my mother go back and forth to the AirBNB to watch the baby and I said it’s just too big of a deal. To fly all the way there, pay for an AirBNB and then go back and forth during the wedding. It just doesn’t seem worth it.”

As a result, the woman has opted to cancel the AirBNB booking and stay put. The decision has made her cousin furious as they “paid per head and can’t reduce the amount at this point.”

A row ensued with the woman angry at her cousin for not writing the “child rule” on their invites. He branded her “stingy” for not getting a babysitter and said it was “standard to not bring children to weddings.” However, she is not alone in opting out. “Apparently about 30 people have canceled because of this,” the woman said.

When it comes to “no kids” at a wedding, Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and founder of the Protocol School of Texas, told Newsweek that it is “difficult to make an exception for one and not another.”

However, Gottsman added that she felt it was “in everyone’s best interest” that the mom opt not to go, though she said that the happy couple have no right to feel aggrieved in the circumstances. to graciously decline the invitation.

“While taking a newborn baby on a trip can work out fine when the parents can logistically take care of their newborn, in this case, it’s a struggle,” Gottsman said. “Bottom line, mom’s first priority is her 4-month-old baby.”

The expert added: “When it comes to a no kids wedding, there is an understanding that not everyone will be able to attend because of family circumstances, and avoid conflicts such as this.”

Those commenting on Reddit sided firmly with the new mom.

“Who expects the parents of a four month old to find a babysitter in a strange place at the last minute?” one user asked. “Do not let your cousin bully you.”

A second wrote, “It’s an invitation, not a summons,” with a third adding: “They couldn’t plan ahead and let you know it was child-free? They couldn’t make ONE exception?…I’m sorry, but some of these wedding rules these days completely forget that attendees are their guests.”

Newsweek reached out to u/Fun-Imagination4145 for comment but could not verify the details of the case.