Why Gossiping Could Be Good For You, According to Experts

Gossiping—whether we like to admit it or not, we’ve all done it.

With 70 percent of Americans talking about their relatives, family gossip was highlighted as the most popular kind of gossip, research by YouGov revealed. This was followed by 64 percent of people gossiping about friends, and 58 percent about their bosses. Let’s face it, when the tea is so good, sometimes you just have to spill it.

There’s no doubt gossiping is frowned upon and it’s often viewed as improper behavior. Of course, in some contexts it can be rude and unhelpful, but Dr. Charles Sweet, medical advisor at Linear Health and a board-certified psychiatrist tells Newsweek that it’s also “a form of social bonding.”

Gossiping is usually associated with negative behavior and malintent, but Sweet explains that it’s deeply ingrained in our social behavior and it comes from “complex psychological roots.”

In fact, not only is it understandable, but gossiping can also offer several benefits too.

Social Connection and Community Protection

When gossip isn’t done maliciously, it can actually be a helpful way to protect each other from harmful situations.

Alexandra Hoerr, licensed clinical therapist and the founder of Optimum Joy Clinical Counseling believes that gossip can be used as a protective measure to look out for each other, rather than just tearing people down.

Hoerr told Newsweek: “I see this a lot in the dating world where women will talk to other women about scenarios as a way to keep each other safe or informed about potentially dangerous or harmful situations. In these circumstances, the gossip isn’t malicious but more of a heads up about something they’ve noticed to stop others from having to go through it as well.”

Gossiping in this way can also create social connections, which Hoerr believes is one of the “biggest benefits” we can gain from it.

She refers to this as universality, which is the powerful feeling we get when other people share their relatable experiences with us. It allows us the opportunity to say, “yes, me too, I had the same thing.” Having that shared human experience can be a profound step toward connection.

“The more social support you have and the more connected you are to the community around you, the better off you are. From a clinical perspective, social support is one of the greatest indicators of wellbeing. So if you feel bonded to a small community of people then that increases your overall well-being and in and of itself is a protective factor that our brains recognize,” Hoerr continued.

Indeed, researchers at the University of Maryland and Stanford University have argued that gossip may be good for social circles. A 2024 study concluded that gossip helps disseminate information about people’s reputations, and this can in turn help others connect with cooperative people, while avoiding those they deem more selfish.

This belief was echoed by psychotherapist Nicole Sylvia, who says that gossip can create a “sense of belonging and camaraderie.” Forming a bond over shared information can build trust too, deepening that sense of connection.

An Emotional Release

In many instances, gossiping may involve talking about other people, but that isn’t to say it can’t be helpful on a personal level too. In fact, Hoerr told Newsweek that it can provide an “emotional release” for people to talk through things that have been playing on their mind.

She said: “Being heard and seen is a big mental health benefit of gossip. If something’s really weighing on you and you’re able to speak it out loud with people who are listening, that is going to reduce some of the stress in your body.”

Sylvia, who has over 30 years of experience in psychotherapy, refers to this as a secondary gain. By talking about other people, the gossipmonger can work through “their own inner conflict and anxieties” without having to open up, Sylvia explains.

“They can gain insight and understanding from others to help them process their emotions, fears and ease their own anxieties,” Sylvia told Newsweek.

A Protective Instinct

By talking about other people’s experiences, this in turn can be a way of showing the people around us what we don’t want for ourselves.

Just think, you and a friend may talk about the recent engagement of someone you know. It might seem disrespectful, but in reality, you might be projecting what you wouldn’t want if you were in that situation.

Sweet believes that this is way of “subconsciously reinforcing what not to do.” People can learn what’s acceptable and what’s not through observation and imitation, and talking about other people’s experiences can act as a warning sign for ourselves.

“In a way, gossip is a chance to evaluate your own values, choices, and behaviors based on what is gossiped about,” Sweet told Newsweek.

He continued: “Gossip can be harmful when it’s used to exclude others, spread misinformation, or make someone look bad. But in its basic form, it’s a fundamental part of communication. When used productively, gossiping can help us learn, connect, and protect ourselves.”

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