Woman Backed for Refusing To Donate Kidney to Father: ‘Not Worthy’

Internet users have rallied behind a woman who does not want to donate her kidney to her estranged father.

A 28-year-old Reddit user, u/Illustrious_file5876, shared her dilemma on the platform’s “AITAH (Am I The A*****)” forum, where her post received more than 18,000 upvotes.

She said that her father abandoned her and her mother when she was 5 years old to start a new family. During her childhood, he made no effort to pay child support or maintain contact—not even on birthdays or holidays.

“Fast forward to now—out of the blue, I get a call from his wife telling me my father is very sick and needs a kidney transplant.

“She told me that I’m the best match and begged me to get tested. Apparently, his other family members aren’t compatible,” she wrote.

The woman declined to help, saying that she owes him nothing due to his past actions.

Since then, she has faced a barrage of messages from her father’s family, accusing her of being selfish and heartless and saying that she is “letting him die out of spite.”

“Even my mom thinks I should consider it, not for him, but to avoid carrying guilt if he passes away,” the woman wrote.

“I don’t feel guilty. I feel like he’s reaping what he sowed, but part of me wonders if I’m being too harsh.

“AITA for refusing to donate my kidney to the father who abandoned me?” she asked. Newsweek reached out to u/Illustrious_file5876 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.

Expert Weighs In

Martina Witter, health and wellbeing consultant and child and adult cognitive behaviour therapist at Rapha Therapy and Training Services, shared her insight with Newsweek.

“Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for emotional and psychological well-being,” Witter said.

“The daughter may be refusing to donate an organ in order to protect herself from further emotional harm and being triggered by the whole experience.

“Agreeing to the request may blur those boundaries and risk reopening old emotional wounds, which could be detrimental to her future and mental health,” she added.

Witter said that the request could trigger trauma responses tied to childhood abandonment, neglect, or rejection.

“Agreeing to the request might feel like invalidating her past experiences, leading to feelings of anger, betrayal, or a resurfacing of unresolved trauma,” she added.

Finally, Witter addressed the potential fear of conditional worth, the notion the poster is only valuable because of what she can provide.

“Refusing the donation may serve as an affirmation of her intrinsic worth, unrelated to external expectations or obligations,” Witter added.

Reddit Reacts

Reddit users were overwhelmingly supportive of the woman, urging her to stand firm and block those pressuring her to comply.

“He knew he was not worthy … his wife is being manipulative. She might have been the reason her father didn’t stay in contact …(New wife) She owes him or her nothing … a caring woman would have insisted her new husband maintain a relationship with his other children … She is not a good person, and OP [original poster] owes her nothing,” said one user.

“Call the hospital and inform them that you are being pressured to donate your kidney. Hospitals take this very seriously,” posted another.

“Keep your mother away for now as she is adding to this pressure,” a third commented.

“Calculate up all the years of child support he owes, and tell him the price of a new kidney is $XXX, XXX. Then block,” read one comment.

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